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Going on a date and not knowing the rules because the last date you went on was 20 years ago, can be a really scary thing. Weeding through hundreds of guys who probably want to make a suit of my skin, trying to find that one gem who not only is not a serial killer, but who also chews with his mouth closed can be daunting.

My last date before I got married was at a time when people didn’t have computers or smart phones. Only doctors had mobile phones and they were as big as a shoe box! And which of the trillions of online dating sites should you use? The first time I saw the commercial for that, I thought it was an skit! When I first got divorced I felt like I couldn’t do anything. I didn’t know how to change my furnace filter, change the string on the weed whacker or fix my washing machine when it started leaking all over.

People need time to adjust to the major changes that divorce brings: different living situations, moving, financial struggles, and having to share time with your kids. It’s the death of your hopes, dreams, and beliefs that you will spend the rest of your life with your spouse. It’s wise to wait a year or so, so that you can evaluate your life, take inventory of who you are, change the things about you that you don’t like, and discover what exactly you’re looking for in a partner.I know another guy who stopped seeing a girl because she was too available to go on dates when he asked.I know yet guy who bolted because after a few dates, she asked him to grab a drink instead of waiting on him. The female counterpart was giving the male her undivided attention—which is what we do when we’re into someone.You can stay in your pajamas and watch chick flicks on Netflix, or you can get up early and run non-stop all day. The longer you wait, the more scared you are to enter the dating world, especially if you were married a long time and enjoyed the comfort and security of a loving relationship.The thought of fielding pick-up lines from guys at bars can make you hyperventilate.

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